My Oscars Livetweet
an unconventional recap
I didn’t post on Twitter or Instagram during the Oscars. I didn’t even look at the timeline after the first commercial break. I didn’t go to a party either, because my cat and house have fleas, and I’m dealing with that. I also really hate Twitter and don’t particularly wish to share such experiences with that community. So instead, I live-posted into a void (a google doc), and now, I present these thoughts to you, basically unedited. Read this as an unconventional Oscars recap, because I’ll probably never write a conventional one.
Conan in Oscar Host mode is very different than Conan in Late Night Host mode, more like a random Simpsons character speaking at a convention (the Monorail Man also comes to mind)
He will do a pleasant cornball musical number as long as he is the host, so I really hope that eventually a Planet of the Apes film is eventually nominated
Josh Groban dressed as Nick Mullen in the chainmail era? feels heightist, typical Hollywood
“THE TOONS,” aka animation feature and short, who cares, plus, kinda strained comedy between Arnett and Tatum
Ethan Hawke getting out of his seat during the Sinners musical number, and hitting the two-finger whistle right before it cut to commercial will surely be the highlight of his night.
The vertical content sketch was pretty good
I have not seen Nu-Frankenstein, but it deserved the best costume award, because everybody knows that Frankenstein is the best Halloween costume. I should do a classic Frankenstein this year
Best Casting totally makes sense as an award. lots of shows have “best ensemble,” but this presenting format is kind of whack and they’re standing sooo far apart. The award is given to a casting director, but we see 5 actors talk for way too long before one casting director accepts
Kumail Nanjiani — HORRIBLE COMEDY 💣💣💣💣💣
Vicky Krieps — absolutely bugging out?
[Kieran Culkin] umm heres some fucking, um, actors. or whatever. ugh. i’ll, um, just take it my fucking self, 🤪
these superhero guys are so bad at comedy. Downey Jr. used to have timing, right?
Paul finally got one <3 let’s get him some more. my boy is happy. fondling the shit out of that thing while thanking Pynchon
“Billy Crystal that’s my family” - Chris Paul
Babs 😭
No Hackman? Or did i miss something? I will look this up after the show, the only editing done on this piece.1
Sigourney quoting her classic line from Aliens at Baby Yoda… uh……. random????
What the hell is The Lost Bus?
[Star Wars opening crawl] Jimmy Kimmel has returned as a martyr for the resistance
Documentary short coming after the in memoriam is simply bad tv production. If it has to be in tandem with doc feature, put them in the 2nd or 3rd block. duh
The Bridesmaids thing was a bit trying, but it’s nice to see Ellie Kemper up there giving it her all
The Oscar Propaganda Segment… how are you putting this like 15 minutes before all the big dog awards lmao, come on
All of these nominated a-listers begrudgingly or drunkenly waving those prop lights for the K-Pop Demon Hunters song — kinda embarrassing
Thank you Javier. The Oscar in-person audience has come a long way since booing Michael Moore off the stage for saying the war in Iraq was bad
“I’m just a film nerd from Norway” lmao
Co-stars of The Drama showing an unthinkable lack of chemistry on stage presenting best director. Pattinson, auteur-lover he is, maybe batting his eyelashes at a few of the nominees?
⅔ of the way there for Paul. hold strong, San Fernando Valley Soldiers. that line about thinking you don’t deserve something -> reveling in its pleasures was beautiful. gonna need a rewind. he’s the best
Adrien Brody: banned from SNL for bomblaclatism but is allowed to do his rudeboy antics at the Oscars as long as he lives
And to present the Oscar for best picture, the stars of Moulin Rouge!
Triple crown for Mr. Anderson! Cue “Dirty Work,” tonight we turn Ventura Boulevard upside-down. Goodbye, everybody.
ed: he passed away before last year’s ceremony, you dunce